Filling the oil in your lamp: A priority after pregnancy or infant loss

So it has been a hot minute since I could get back to some semblance of normality.

I have had to really step back and give myself permission to rest …. Which is NOT how I roll but my body has ensured that permission slip has been signed, sealed and delivered!!

I always bang on about self care, thinking that what I was doing for myself was enough. It was not. So in keeping with my 2022 word - INTUITION - I took a long hard look at what was going on. What I figured out was, even with the energy management work I had done - I was still overestimating how MUCH energy I had to spend in a day.

So I broke it down - I urge you to do the same. Where was the oil in my lamp going??? What things are using a % of my daily energy that I hadn’t really thought about?

> I’m still breastfeeding.

> I am significantly deaf (but cannot wear my hearing aids most days due to squealing toddlers).

> I am back in the retail Pharmacy world one day a week (mainly to remain active in that area and to socialise).

> I have 1 child that does not think sleep is important.

> I have PTSD, have survived trauma.

> I have depression/burnout

> I am primary carer for two small humans.

> I am human and I have been tired for 5 years!

> I am solepreneur of a business that requires a lot of energy and self preservation

> I am still a grieving mum.

All of this plus more take various gulps of oil from my lamp. I have now acknowledged I have been running on the smell of an oily rag.

Now I am focussed on refilling that oil reservoir…. This includes:

I paint (watercolours)

I prioritise rest (trying to do this without guilt)

I spend time with friends

I spend time alone

I set boundaries

I plan & prepare where I can

It all helps …

This is a huge favourite quick video of mine for all the loss mummas out there who are exhausted, overwhelmed, feel like they have nothing left to give…. Have a watch, it’s beautiful:

https://youtu.be/buGH47NQh5k

In what areas of your life are you spending energy you would rather keep to use elsewhere??

What do you do to refill your lamp?

Lots of Love

Rochelle